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So i've found myself thinking about someone from my not so distant past that hurt me.I cant figure out why i think about him so much but i think the reason is because he was the first relationship that showed me what i deserve.Granted he ended it but he made me realize that all my past relationships were helping me learn and that the love i was waiting for was just around the corner.Thats when i met Jonny :) I really wish i didnt think about Josh but i do.I'm still friends with most of my ex's except like 3.I hate the fact that i think about him from time to time but then again i dont.I dont really want to think about him but i do.I wanna tell Jonny cause i highly doubt he'd be mad but he probably wouldnt like it to much.I dont blame him.If he told me that he was thinking about any of his ex's that arent his friends i probably wouldnt be to happy.It could also be because Josh left things in a mess and left me wondering what happend and maybe im still curious.It doesnt really matter anymore but still i kinda would like to know, wouldnt you?I know plenty of people that hang out over there if they even still live here but they never mention a word about it,which is for the most part how i'd like to keep it but everytime i drive by or walk closeish to that place i glance over.I dont know..i just wanna stop thinking about him already because i know i love Jonny and thats not going to change.My dad told me night before last that he doesnt think me and Jonny will be togethor forever.Thats like the 3rd person.What is with people and telling me that my relationship isnt going to work?I thank them for being honest but no one really knows whats going to happen tommarow.Jonny and i have been threw allot in the past 4 months and it feels longer then just 4 months.He has proven to me many times that he will do whatever for me and that hes always there for me.Being in different states makes it hard but we make it work.Hes got court on the 27th and im scaredish.I already know what hes for the most part charged with but still ya know?Court has always been a uneasy place for me but what do you expect i was in and out of court systems when i was little,its definately a place i would like to avoid if i can but sometimes i cant and in the future im going to be the reason why i am in there.Not right now but soon..i hope.Well thats all for now i will probably write more as my day progresses.Later.Take Care.